America, well what can I one say about America.

" It doesn't exist. . . " I said

Captain Brooks was quite serious.

" I think we've all been conned. " he said. " Into thinking this giant super power exists when in fact it's not there. "

" I don't believe it. " I said.

" Of course it exists. " said Joe. " We get. television from there. " How do you know it's from there. " said Captain Brooks.

" What makes you think it doesn't exist. " Said Sandy

" Look. " said the Captain. We all gathered around the chart table.

" This is us. " said Captain Brooks, pointing to a dot on the map. " We've been sailing ten days along this line and so according to my navigation we should he in the middle of Texas. . "

" If we are. " I said. " Texas is a lot wetter than I've been led to believe. "

" Your navigation must he wrong. " said Joe.

" What. . . . . . " said Captain Brooks, giving Joe a very black look.

" Well. . . err. . . I mean. . . " stammered Joe.

" We are going west. " said Sandy.

" Look for yourself. " said the captain stepping aside to reveal the compass.

We all looked at it the compass steadily pointing west.

" You are untidy in here. " I said , picking up an empty beer can that was lodged in a crevice behind the compass. I threw it out the window.

The tin can spun in the air three times then went splash into the sea.

The compass slowly moved round fifty eight degrees South East. We all looked at Captain Brooks as the compass took up its correct position.

" O. " said the Captain. . . . " It must he almost time for lunch. "

" O. K. when we arrived in New York I did get a little excited, well drunk. " said Joe. " And my head wasn't paying much attention at the meeting this morning. But I did hear Mr Pepperday say we wanted a Zebra. "

" You're right. " I said. " We do want a Zebra. "

" Then why. " said Joe. "Are we laying in the mud in Central Park. "

" There aren't any Zebra in Central Park. "

" No but there are Manhattan Thunder Pugs. " I said.

" Manhattan Thunder Bugs. " shouted Joe standing up. It's a bit of a sore point with Joe.

" I'm not looking for Manhattan Thunder Bugs. " said Joe turning away. " We've got millions of the buggers back at the zoo. " he took a few paces away then came back. " You know it took me three weeks to clear my room of the damn things. They breed like flies. "

"Bugs. " I said.

" Surely we don't want any more. . . " said Joe.

" No we don't. " I said. " But Cantree Animal Park do and they said they will give us two baby Zebra if we could find them some. "

" Why then. " said Joe, calming down a bit. " Didn't we bring some with us. "

" We did. " I said.

" Well. " said Joe. " Why are we laying in the mud here. "

" You remember when you got hungry at two o clock in the morning after that storm. "

" Yes. " said Joe.

" You remember you pinched that tin of biscuits from Mr Pepperdays cabin. " I said.

" The one that turned out to he empty, just full of old straw. " said Joe.

" That's the one. " I said.

" It wasn't. " said Joe in dismay.

" It was. " I said. " Where Mr Pepperday was keeping the thunder hugs. It was about here you emptied the tin to put your newly acquired beer mat collection in."

" O. . " said . Joe and flopped down in the mud again. " How many do we have to get. "

" About two dozen. " I said.

We were crawling out from underneath a bush when we came across a pair of large black boots.

" I don't think your policemen are very wonderful. " said Joe to the sergeant.

We were sitting at a desk in what the locals call the precinct station. . , we would have called it a Police station. It all boiled down to being picked up for being suspicious characters.

We sat facing a police sergeant who sat at the other side of the desk.

" Well. . . " said the sergeant.

" Ask him. " I said pointing to the big policeman towering above us.

" I found um crawling around in the bushes at the park. " said the policeman an a broad Irish accent.

" We're innocent. " said Joe.

" Is there a law against it. " I said.

" That depends. " Said the sergeant. " If' you're , nutters weirdo's or queers. "

" We're English. " said Joe.

" So was Crippen. " said the sergeant. " What were you doing. "

" I don't think you'll like it. " I said.

" They said they were looking for beetles. " said the Irish policeman. " Beetles. . . " repeated the sergeant.

" Manhattan Thunder Bugs. " said Joe.

They're nutters. " said the Irish policeman.

What are Manhattan Thunder Bugs. " said the sergeant.

LOOK UP LATIN NAME FOR BUGS

They're coleoptera " I said. "Members of the Itelliartus Meldion family, related to and a sub group of the Ignus Tetiilinarpus. Only discovered in 1928 by Brian Willpack, they were found to he peculiar to this one Island, hence the name, since 1945 none have been found here. Several groups have since been bred in various parts of the world and have been found useful in suppressing native populations of Questy fly. "

" That that sounded good. " said Joe. " You've been practising. "

" Reading that hook you gave me last Christmas. " I said.

" Just to come out with it like that. " said Joe.

" Well I was hoping someone would ask me that question. " I said.

" Hold on. . . hold on. . . " said the sergeant. " Are you two genuine or something. "

" Just ring Professor Carhank at the zoological, institute 22nd street. " I said. " He should he able to vouch for us. "

The sergeant picked up the telephone.

"If you're going to take that attitude. . . " shouted the girl.

I looked across to the next desk where a girl was being questioned.

A pair of long brown hoots stretched up some very nice legs to where a peek-a-boo bit of thigh met a little red skirt. A pink blouse and red waistcoat finished the outfit. Her long blond hair fell across her shoulders hiding her face from me.

" Look. " said the officer talking to her. " I know all about you, and you know that so lets cut out all the hogwash. "

" O. K. " said the sergeant in front of us as he put down the telephone. " It appears you two are from a zoo in England and that crawling around under bushes looking for hugs is normal behaviour for people like you. "

" Can we go the. " said Joe.

" Yes. " said the sergeant. " Show them out officer. " We got up to go.

" And here, your biscuit tin. " said the sergeant. " And I ain't looking in it. "

" I still think they're nutters. " said the Irish policeman as he turned to show us the way out.

" I love you too. " said Joe.

As we reached the door of the office I looked back, she had large blue eyes and long eyelashes.

We sat on a bench watching the traffic go by.

" How many have we got. " said Joe.

I took the lid off the box and started counting.

" One two three. . " I counted. It would have helped If they had kept still. " Thirty five, thirty six. " I said. " give or take half a dozen. "

" Good. " said Joe. " perhaps we can get some dinner then. "

Where. " I said looking round. " We can't go anywhere posh the way we are, all muddy and carrying a box of bugs. "

" There were some places down near the docks. " said Joe. " A few more bugs wouldn't he noticed in some of them. "

We stopped outside a very dirty hamburger cafe that had a red neon sign over the window saying ' Murphy's '.

" Ten to one he's Irish. " said Joe.

He wasn't he was Mexican.

" With or without. " said Murphy leaning over the counter.

" Without what. " I said.

" Every one tries to he funny these days. " said Murphy in a tone which suggested that I shouldn't push the issue.

" With. " I said sheepishly. I wondered what I was going to be with.

" It's quite full. " said Joe looking for somewhere for us to sit.

Most of the people were as scruffy as us.

" Hay look. " I said to Joe. " Over there in the corner. "

Sitting, all alone, was a girl in long brown boots and a red waistcoat. It's the girl from the police station. " I said. We went over to her.

" Do you mind if we join you. " I said.

She looked up, a small smile crossed her face.

" Why it's the bug catchers. " she said. " Sit down it's a free country. " We sat down.

" You created quite a stir at the police station. " she said.

She had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen.

" What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this " I said.

She looked at me. . . then at Joe. . . . I looked at Joe. . . . Joe looked at me.

" That's a bit of a corny line. " said Joe. Joe looked at the girl.

" Any way its none of our business. " said Joe.

" No. " said the girl and looked into her coffee.

We ate our burgers with the ' with ' which turned out to be onions. What were you in the police station for. " said Joe after he had finished his burger.

" Soliciting. " said the girl looking up blankly.

" Were you. " said Joe.

" Not this time. " said the girl. She looked hack into her coffee.

" They picked up Tony. " She said softly. " Tony 0 Neil. . . did his flat over found a load of drugs, he'll be sent up for fifteen 'years at least " She looked up. " You see I was living with him, so they pick me up. " she said.

" But they let you go. " I said.

I wasn't there when they raided the place they can't prove anything. " she said. " So you see I'm out on the street again. " she pave a little smile. " In every sense of the word. " She looked into her coffee again.

As she sat there something inside snapped, the hard shell of New York fell away as tears began to fill her eyes. The soft outline of her face framed by golden hair betrayed a small girl lost in the corrupt underworld of the big city. The tears started rolling down her cheeks , she reached into her bag for a handkerchief.

" I'm sorry. " she said. " I don't know what's the matter with me. It's not the first time I've been on my own. "

" Can we take you somewhere. " I said.

" No where to go. " she said.

" Parents. " said Joe.

" Never had any of them. " she said. " Not that I knew anyway. "

Well why not come hack to the Beagle Pup with us. " I said. " Until we can sort something out. "

" The Beagle Pup. " she said.

" It's a boat. " said Joe.

" It's where we're from. " I said. " We're an expedition. "

" I suppose its better than nothing. " she said.

I looked into those deer blue eyes ; O hell, I thought ...........

The girls name was Elaine and Mrs Jabody took her under her wing.

Mrs Jabody had large wings and an equally large heart.

Joe rushed down the steps from the deck. " Mr Pepperday. " he shouted.

Rushing past where I was standing in the small passage Joe knocked on Mr Pepperdays cabin door.

" What is it. " I said looking at Joe.

" We've got a visitor. " said Joe. Mr Pepperday opened his door. He still looked pretty ill.

" You've got to see this. " said Joe

" I hope it's good. " said Mr Pepperday.

" Good. " said Joe. " It's enormous. "

" What's enormous. " I said.

" The whale. " said Joe. " We're being visited by the local neighbourhood whale. "

We all went on deck arid stood at the rail.

" Good heavens. " I said

" Words fail me. " said Me Pepperday.

" What can one say. " I said.

" What can one say Joe. " said Mr Pepperday.

" It's gone. " said Joe.

We looked at the vast expanse of ocean, calm, beautiful and totally whaleless.

" It was here. " said Joe. " Honest. . . , hay Mr Thornby. " Joe shouted up to the bridge. " Mr Thornby you saw the whale didn't you. "

" What whale " said Mr Thornby.

Knowing Joe I suspected one of his little jokes. l would have believed him a little bit more had there been a splash, a dark shadow, a water spout or even a little ripple on the water. But there was nothing. Mr Pepperday having once written a hook on whales was determined to see one and insisted on staying up on deck all day, It was too dark to see the water let alone a whale when we finally managed to drag him back to his cabin for the night.

We were laying on our bunks listening to the engines throbbing through the night, when Joe said softly.

" You believe I saw a whale don't you. "

" No. " I said.

" I did. " said Joe. " The biggest whale I have ever seen in my whole life. "

" How many whales have you seen. " I said.

" Just the one. " said Joe.

We were all sitting having breakfast in the little galley when Captain Brooks came in to join us.

" Seen the whale yet. " he said casually.

Joe almost spat out cornflakes over the table.

" You've seen it. " said Joe.

" Of course. " said the Captain, " Hasn't anyone else.

" A real whale. " said Mr Pepperday.

" Biggest one I've ever seen. " said the Captain.

We left breakfast and filed up on deck. It didn't take much spotting this time. A huge black mountain came towards us very slowly, two hundred yards away it sank and slid like a dark shadow underneath the hull of the boat. It took a long time for all of it to pass.

" Boy that's big. " said Mr Pepperday.

" A thing of that size could smash us to pieces." said Sandy.

" It won't do that. " said Mr Pepperday. " It's just curious, if we don't harm it, it won't harm us. "

We watched it all morning, swimming backwards and forwards under the boat, from side to side, from end to end. Sometimes it would rase its huge tail out of the water then bring it crashing down onto the surface of the sea making the Beagle Pup rock about from side to side.

On the second day the whale was still with us, still swimming close up and diving under at the last minute. It was obviously good whale

By the third day we were all getting a little hit jittery about our whale. He was still there.

" He's playing with us. " said Captain Brooks.

" He's getting a bit closer each time and that tail is thwacking a bit too close for comfort now. " I said.

" It's like a child with a toy. " said Sandy. " But when it gets fed up with the toy. . . . . . " Sandy stopped.

" He may wave good bye with that tail. " said Joe.

" What can we do. " I said. " That whale must pick its teeth with bigger things than this boat. "

" There may be a way. " said Captain Brooks. " All of you go down to the galley and don't come up on deck. "

We all sat quietly in the galley drinking tea and listening to sounds up on the deck as Captain Brooks and Mr Thornby did, what ever it was they were doing.

" What's that. " said . Joe

" Sounds like chains. " I said.

" That other one. " said Joe. " The one that sounds like a mad Cornishman sharpening his harpoon. "

Suddenly it went quiet. Time crept by. So did tea biscuits and a large peace of Mrs Jabodys cake. Eventually the captain opened the hatch at the top of the ladder. He poked his head in.

" It's gone. " he said. " You can do what you like now. "

" What have you done with It. " said . Joe.

" Nothing." said the Captain..

" He switched his engines off. " said Mr Pepperday " The whale was attracted by the noise. "

" How did Captain Brooks know that. " said Sandy.

" At least somebody on this expedition has read my book. " said Mr Pepperday.