She was standing in the middle of the road halfway across Middlegate Bridge jumping up and down and waving her arms in the air. It was Judy and she was wearing a bright pink cape, an electric blue jumper with white fluffy sheep embroidered on it, baggy white trousers adorned with large painted sunflowers and topping it all a very large bright green hat. I did think that the bright yellow scarf was over doing a little bit. It was Saturday and the town was pretty crowded, even so you could seen Judy from the other end of Europe without any of the arm waving.

She looks like a light house was Joes comment when we saw her. In Judys defence I said at least we are not going to miss her. As we were going to have to travel with her Joe ask if I could have told her to wear something a little more restrained. The trouble was I had and she was, you should see some of her other outfits.

People started staring at me and Joe as we approached the bridge and it became apparent that the rainbow coloured windmill was waving at us.

" Judy behave." I said we approached her and she flung herself at me giving me a big hug and kiss.

" You'll never guess what I've been doing." she said.

On that she was right I had long given up trying to figure out Judys life style, I told her that we had not got time for that today. The last time we inquired what Judy had been doing it took all day and cost us the price of lunch and a fish supper. Judy ask me what it was all about as I had made it sound all very mysterious in my message. I told her explanations would have to wait that I would tell her on the way as we had got to get to the railway station in five minutes. " Oh The choo choos." said Judy. I sometimes despair at Judys level of conversation. I picked up Judys large green bag almost wrenching by shoulder off with the weight of it.

" What have you got in here." I said struggling with the bag

" Only what you told me." said Judy. " And a few other bits and bobs."

" Come on." I said. " I've got you a box of chocolates."

We were late arriving at the station luckily for us the train was also late and we were running down the platform just as the guard was getting his green flag and whistle out of his pocket. The guard opened a carriage door for us. The guard commented that we were cutting it a bit fine today, then ask if we were eloping at last, I pushed Judy into the carriage. " Susssh." said Joe diving into the carriage after us. " No one's supposed to know."

The guard closed the door and we settled down in our seats as the train clickety clacked over the points. Judy looked at me from under the brim of her large hat and ask what this was all about. She then changed her mind, more to the point she ask where are the chocolates. Joe commented that Judy would do anything for a bit of chocolate.

" Not anything." said Judy.

I told Judy that I did owe her an explanation of what this was all about and why it was so hush hush. She gave me one of her smiles and said it would be nice to know but it did not matter she go anywhere with me. Joe started laughing and rolling about in the corner seat. I told Judy to stop saying things like that, I threw Judys large green bag on top of Joe almost crushing him and told him he could shut up as well. Judy removed a large hat pin from her hat, took it carefully off and laid it on the seat beside her.

I began my explanation by leaning over toward Judy and whispering that it was a surprise. She leaned toward me and whispered, then surprise me. Can anyone join in whispered Joe leaning toward us both, or should I lean out of the window and wave to the cows. I looked at Joe hard and ask him if he really wanted an answer to that.

It was all very complicated as he had to do with Mr Patarneys dad, Joe ask Judy if she knew him, she said she did not.

" He's the father of Mr Patarney." I said.

" Even I'd figured that out." said Judy.

" I didn't mean that." I said.

" It sounded like that." said Joe.

I started by telling Judy that Mrs Patarneys sisters daughters husband Arthur works as a patten maker at Grinding Brothers. Judy wondered if this was important or just trivial detail. I ignored her and went on to explain that Arthurs overseer was Bill Dashalot. Judy did not know Bill Dashalot which did not matter as I was only mentioning him because it was Bill that told Spotty what Arthurs wife said his wife, she had been told by Mrs Patarneys sister about Mr Patarneys father. As I paused for breath Joe looked at me then at Judy saying **sarcastically how that could not be clearer could it. Judy just ask who are the good guys.

I thought there must be a simpler way of explaining things so started by asking Judy if she knew Jane Dashalot. Why do you think I have brought that big green bag replied Judy. I looked at her rather blankly, one of us was going mad and it was not me, or perhaps it was, Joe must having been thinking the same as he thought he would be better employed leaning out of the window and waving at the cows because as he did not think he had got the brain power to fallow this conversation.

I ask Judy what the big green bag had got to do with Jane Dashalot, her reply made me wish I had not ask. Why aid Judy she's wearing my big brown boots. Hello cows, shouted Joe leaning out the carriage window, it crossed my mind to join him. Judy explained she had brought the big green bag because she taken her boots and a long dress round to Janes before meeting us, this was because Sidney was in bed with the flue. Sidney it seems would have taken the things round to Janes in his sidecar if he had not been sick. After Judy had explained this I was beginning to somehow loose track of what we had originally been talking about.

Hello sheep, shouted Joe, still leaning out of the window. I was still trying to work out who Sidney was when Judy ask what this had got to do with Mr Patarney.

" Who's Mr Patarney." I said.

" You were just talking about him." said Judy.

" It seems such a long time ago now." I said.

Joe ask Judy if she had got all the stuff we had ask her to bring. Judy said she had and it was all in the big green bag which is why it was so heavy. Joe closed the carriage window and sat down on his seat, his face was covered in soot. I decided to try to explain to Judy again about what we were all doing here only this time in simple terms. Joe stopped me however saying it would have to wait as we were coming into the station.

The breaks on the train started to squeal as we slowed down into the station. A large sign crept into view as the train stopped, the sign read 'Babbling under Line'.

As the train puffed out of the station we were left alone on the empty platform. Now Babbling station hardly qualifies for such a grand title as station, it is really just a platform, two wooden walkways each side of the track, no ticket office no friendly porters, it was only the signs with the station name on it that give any indication that it was a place to get off at all.

" They've put the station in the wrong place." declared Judy.

" They haven't ." said Joe. " Look it says on the sign Babbling under Line."

" In that case where is it." said Judy looking around.

Which ever way you looked there was nothing but fields and hills, not a single house, mouse, horse or aircraft hanger to be seen.

" Now what have you got us into." said Joe.

" Don't panic." I said. "I know this place."

" OK then ." said Joe. " Where is it."

" What's the name of the place." I said.

" Babbling under Line ." said Joe.

" Right then ." I said. " Come over here and look over the fence."

Joe and Judy followed me to the fence at the back of the platform and looked over. Two hundred feet below us were two dozen cottages huddled in the valley below us. Judy ask how we were going to get down there. O no exclaimed Joe spotting the steps winding down the side of the hill toward Babbling. Judy made the point that when she had said she would fallow me anywhere she was in fact joking. I led the way down saying it was not as far as it looked. I was of course lying

Babbling under Line is an odd little place, it sits by the river in a valley between two hills. It was originally called Babbling by the Water until the railway built a line across the hills over Babbling. Literally over it from hill to hill constructing a huge brick viaduct. Half in protest and half as a joke the villagers started calling them selves Babbling under Line but the name stuck.

The village post office was run by Mrs Nosey, it really was her name and she know everyone in the village and all there business. She would soon know we were there as the path from the station passed directly by the post office window.

" Hello Mrs Nosey." I said poking my head into the post office.

" Hello young man." said the woman behind the counter. " That your little lady you brought to do for Mr Patarney."

" Are the Patarneys at home." I ask.

" Mrs Patarney wants you to meet her at Mr Golightlys." said Mrs Nosey.

We crossed the road and made our way up to an old looking cottage, the home of Mr Golightly. Judy huffed at being called my little lady and wanted to know why the post mistress **knew more about this than she did. I told Judy was in a small village of two dozen people where the postmistress she owns the only shop, runs the post office and operates the telephone switchboard, there was not going to be much that went on there that she did not know about. Judy thought that before she transmits our little secret to the whole world, that it was about time I let into it.

All will be explained I said and gave a knock at the half open door of the Mr Golightlys cottage. The door opened to reveal a small room with a lady standing near a table.

" Hello young man." it was Mrs Patarney. " This is your beautiful girl friend I've heard about then." She came over to greet Judy.

"Beautiful" said Judy looking at me and smiling.

" This is Judy." I said.

" They've told you what this is all about have they." said Mrs Patarney.

" Well.." said Judy.

" We didn't quite get round to it." I said. " We're going to explain now."

" Typical." said Mrs Patarney. " Men are all the same, so they've dragged you out here with out rime, raison or explanation, typical."

" Oh I don't mind its a surprise outing." said Judy trying to put in a good word on our behalf.

" Don't try to defend them." said Mrs Patarney.

" Mind it is a bit difficult to explain, sit down and I'll get you a cup of tea then I'll try to explain."

We sat down around the table in the little cottage and Mrs Patarney tried to explain what I had been trying to say on the train.

Mr Patarneys father is eighty years old today started Mrs Patarney and he dreams of the old days back in India, of eating curries on the veranda, watching the elephants and of catching the fish in the river. Well he is getting too old to travel back to India, so we thought it would be a nice idea to give him a curry on the veranda of the Colonels bungalow. The Colonel lives at the end of the village, he served in India and built the bungalow with a large veranda just like the ones back in India, it even looks over the river.

The idea was to give the old man a dinner there, it would take the old man back to India and he could dream of watching the elephants again and smell the sweet curry like his old mother used to make. Judy thought it was a lovely idea but wondered what this had to do with her.

You see there is a problem Mrs Patarney went on, She came from south India and try as she might she has never been able to capture that sweet flavour of the north country cooking that the old man dreams about. That I said to Judy was where she come in.

Judy was puzzled she did not know anything about different curries, when she made them she only sloshed things in as she went along. What ever you do its the real thing said Mrs Patarney. Now where have I heard that before said Joe.

How do you know they are like northern indian curries ask Judy for she hardly ever cooked for anyone outside a few friends. This is why the explanations had got rather complicated it all had to do with a certain Ally Sing who Judy did not know but she did know Terry Biddle. Judy started to look rather wide eyed at this point. I tryed to explain that Terry worked with Ally Sing and had brought him round sometimes when we had one of those curry parties. Judy then remembered who Ally was and the fact that he very much appreciated her curries. Judy still did not understand what this had to do with Mr Partarnies farther. It appeared that Ally Sing knew Mrs Patarney and told her that Judys curries were as near the real northern curries as you can get without actually living there, it seems he comes from the same village in India.

" But he can't cook." said Mrs Patarney. " And your young man here said you wouldn't mind cooking a curry as a surprise for the birthday party."

" I'd be only too happy to." said Judy smiling. " Hence all the stuff I had to bring in the bag."

" That's it." I said.

" But you can't cook one of those curries as a surprise they tend to make there presence known over a wide area they need a long cooking time." said Judy.

" That's where I come in." said Joe.

Joe was going to take granpar Patarney fishing to catch a large pike Joe I knew about in a stretch of the river just down from the village. Joe had been given some tips from Spotty who can catch anything. Why did Spotty not come ask Judy. Joe smiled even Mr Patarney dad will knows of Spottys reputation as junior fishing champion he would not feel as if he had done the catching himself with Spotty there.

What part are you playing Judy ask me in a way that suggested I was getting away with doing nothing. That was not the case however I was going for a walk, I had got a little surprise arranged of my own and told them I would be seeing them all later. Joe decided it was time be away and pick up the Birthday boy. Mrs Patarney told us that he thought that the fishing trip is his days treat, and that she would be back for Judy when Joe and Mr partarnies father were all out of the way. It was arranged that Joe would have him back at half past five so he could watch the sunset during the meal. Joe said he would think up some excuse for getting him up to the Colonels bungalow.

Me and Joe left the cottage together then Joe turned up towards the Patarneys house and I turned towards the road that lead to Dimsbydale. Joe turned and ask what I was up to he did not know what it was but knew it must be definitely up to something. I wished Joe luck with this pike and hoped Spottys advise is a good as it was supposed to be.

I strolled off through the village, it was a lovely day, the sun was shinning, it was like an Indian summer. My pace quickened as I left the village, my large hiking boots crunching on the gravel of the road with a steady rhythm. I was a man with a mission. However I might not have been so eager had I known how the rest of the day was going to go.

I passed a small field of allotments and came to a farm entrance which had a wooden small wooden sign proclaiming that here was ' Travelling Farm '.

I turned down the track toward the farm. I had never been here before but had been told about the place by Mr Pepperday, a man who did seem to know a lot of odd people. I was met half way down the track by a group of red indians with feathers in their hair and war paint on there faces. I was not afraid, I stood my ground like a true hero, I might have been slightly more wary had the age of any of these indians been higher than four. They decided I was the local sheriff and that I should be taken to their leader. Their leader was a short bald plump little man whose smile seemed to wrap round both ears.

" Aha ha captives." he said spotting me being brought in by the tribe of small indians. This I thought must be Mr Tophandle he as just as described my Mr Pepperday. He introduced himself as Tophandle by name top handle by position, Known to every one as Thomas. He looked at me hard declaring that I must be Mr Pepperdays young man.

I told Mr Tophandle that Mr Pepperday told me that he might be able to help us with something for a little surprise party. Mr Tophandle beamed another broad smile and said that he had been told all about it, it was a lovely idea, just the sort of daft thing he would have dreamed up and that he would love to help. The he said that I was to fallow him.

Myself, six small red indians, a large red hairy dog, a small black hairy dog, three chickens, two geese and a goat followed Mr Tophandle into the large barn then out the other side again. Mr Tophandle turned around and in a large sweeping gesture that came from much practice he announced to us all, And here, what you have all been waiting for the wonderful, Mrs Lumbarto. I do not know why but me and the indians all applauded. Mrs Lumbarto looked at us hard, could I detect a little smile.

Perhaps I should point that out at this point that Mrs Lumbarto was an elephant, only a baby elephant but an elephant never the less.

I had this terrific idea in the bath last week, the idea was that as Mr Patarney was having the home cooked curry on the colonels veranda. I would wander across the meadow below the bungalow dressed as an indian leading an elephant and call out happy birthday to Mr Patarney in Urdo. It was and idea even Joe would have been proud of. I had not told anyone about the idea, except Mr Pepperday who I had to ask about the small matter of obtaining an elephant. Mr Tophandle runs a circus and this farm is his winter headquarters, there was a baby elephant and his Indian handler Adjarn, it was the stroke of luck that confirmed that my idea was going to be a brilliant success.

Being however with the reality of an elephant standing before me I was slightly less convinced about the idea. Mr Tophandle explained that she was mine for the rest of the day. I looked at it wondering if it was safe, Mr Tophandle assured me she was gentle as a little lamb. That did not encourage me much I had met some pretty aggressive lambs in my time.

My hart began to sink when Mr Tophandle said there were just a couple of things, then ask if I wanted the good news first or the bad news, I settled for the good news. This was that fact young Adjarn's sister can play the Sitar and Mr Tophandle thought it would be a nice little extra bonus if she sat on the elephant playing while I did my thing down at the Colonels bungalow. Brilliant I told him soft Indian music drifting on the breeze its getting better and better, Marja that was the girls name would wear her Sari and I was found an Indian Prince outfit. It all sounded as if this is going to be my best stunt yet.

Just as my elation was reaching its peak Mr Tophandle ask me if want the bad news now. I suggested we just pretend its a nice day and leave it at that. Mr Tophandle said it was not all that bad it seemed that Adjarn was stuck somewhere in Birmingham with a lorry that had broken down, he should have been there but would not be back now until tomorrow. The implications of this being he was the one who looks after the elephant. Without a handler it meant that the whole things was off, my bright idea scuppered at the last minute I was somewhat disappointed. Mr Tophandle looked at me rather surprised as I mumbled about it being off. Heavens no he declared, it just means you wont have any help, you can still take the elephant, you just walk holding onto the rope, she will just follow wherever you go.

I looked at the elephant standing in the yard munching on some straw. Somehow that little baby elephant had grown, it seemed double the size it was a minute ago. I certainly had not figured on taking it out on my own, after all it is not quite like taking someones dog for a walk.

" I'm not so sure." I said.

" Come on don't panic." said Mr Tophandle. " Go in there and get into the costume."

" But." I said.

I came out dressed to the nines as something from the Arabian nights, well Indian nights or something. I felt a whole lot more confident about things and then I saw Adjarns sister and wow, move over Gunger Din, she was something. " Why hello there.." I said, taking her hand and kissing it. She gave a little girlish giggle.

" Ah ha as you've probably guessed this is Adjarns sister." said Mr Tophandle coming out of the barn.

" You didn't say she was as sweet as the lotus flower in spring." I said.

" No I didn't." said Mr Tophandle. " And you're wasting your time, she doesn't speak a word of English and she's engaged to a chap whose offered three cows and a pig for her."

" Worth every horn of it." I said.

" Ha ha mochala." said the girl. The elephant lifted up its front paw and she climbed up onto it's back.

Mr Tophandle handed her the Sitar and she tied it to the elephants large collar. Mr Tophandle untied a thick rope from a ring on the floor of the yard and then handed it to me, the other end of the rope was attached to the elephant.

I wondered if you needed a licence to drive an elephant. Mr Tophandle ask me if I knew I was going don't you. I told him thought I did when I dreamed up the idea but now I was beginning to feel a bit daft dressed like this with an elephant. Mr Tophandle laughed I felt daft he said I ought to try doing this three times a day for six months of the year, he then told me to get off, have fun and make sure I brought the elephant back, and the girl.

With a little tentative tug on the rope I called to the elephant. " Come on Elie time for walkies."

" Here take this." said Mr Tophandle handing me a large brown paper bag.

" What is it? " I said.

" Buns." said Mr Tophandle.

" Buns." I repeated

" In case of emergency, the elephant will do anything for a bun." said Mr Tophandle.

Gingerly I started walking pulling on the rope, much to my surprise the elephant started to follow me. We went through the old barn and down the farm drive, the elephant following me like a little lamb. I was beginning to feel more confident by the minute, it was a lovely afternoon, everything was going to plan a and I was happy with the world. I should not complain that feeling lasted for a whole twenty five minutes.

We had left the road to cross a field, it was a short cut towards the village and we were passing the lane near the water tower. Adjarns sister sitting on the back of the elephant was playing softly on her Sitar and I had started singing happily to myself. Some would say it was the singing that did it, but I know otherwise. We were coming up to the allotments I had seen earlier while walking to the farm and well, when an elephant sees fresh cabbages turnips and runner beans, all far testier that she's ever seen before, temptation gets a bit too much. The first I knew about it was being jerked off my feet and thrown into a patch of long nettles. " Yoaaroughhhhhhouh." I shouted in no uncertain terms. I thought it was the elephant protesting at my singing. The elephant started moving towards the allotments, I decided to hang onto the rope, why I did that I will never know, the possibility of stopping the elephant were zero. All I got was stung and bruised as I was dragged through the nettles and across some stony ground. The elephant started munching at the well tendered vegetables.

" Stop that you oaf." I shouted and pulled hard on the rope.

" Maha raganga geit rugjheah hargella ah erh gahahag." shouted Adjarns sister.

I think she thought this was a little snack I had planned for her elephant. The elephant started trampling over the vegetables as it saw a taster morsel somewhere else.

" No stop it shoooo." I shouted and started jumping up and down waving my turban in the air, the turban started to unravel making a long streamer. This startled the elephant and it turned and headed out of the allotments. Amazed at having achieved the desired result I made a dash for the trailing rope. I was just about to grab it when I heard a scream. Adjarns sister was falling from the back of the elephant. For once in my life I made the right decision on the spur of the moment, I forgot the rope and went to catch the girl.

She landed squarely in my arms, she put her arms around my neck and kissed me.

" Marka har de amacah." she said. Which I can only assume meant ' you bloody fool '.

" Yammacka." she said pointing.

The elephant was fifty yards away and moving fast in the wrong direction. I put Adjarns sister down and started to run after the elephant. I have never looked upon elephants as fast creatures, but this one was beginning to loose me. If it had not been for a rabbit I might never have caught it.

The Elephant was following a well worn sheep track, quite narrow but clearly defined across the hill, suddenly sitting in the middle of the track was this baby rabbit quietly enjoying the sunshine and washing its whiskers with its front paw. From the rabbits point of view, suddenly to see this planet sized object hurtling down the path towards him, must have been somewhat puzzling. This was one situation that had not been covered by those little talks given by his by mother. His mother had told him about cars and roads, about foxes, large birds even farmers with big guns. She had not however mentioned a single word about elephants. The baby rabbit wondered, was this a sit very still and it will go away situation, or was it a run like hell situation. Now when and elephant runs over a rabbit there is not a lot of rabbit left. The rabbit was saved only by a strange coincidence. The elephants's own mother had not mentioned rabbits to her at all, so when the elephant saw the rabbit she suddenly stopped dead in the her tracks. By this time I was running up the track like an express train and had to take a sudden diversion onto the grass to avoid running into the back of the elephant. The rabbit seeing me took off at high speed across the hill and disappeared. The elephant looked at me accusingly as if to say you have frightened my friend away. I did not care I was shattered I grabbed the rope and flopped down on the grass to try and recover, I was gasping for breathe and the world was spinning. I would not have minded so much but the elephant was not even panting. Adjarns sister caught up with us a few moments later and sat down, she was obviously fitter than I was because she was not out of breath either.

" Yahs hararia amba echia shelli joco." she said.

" I haven't a clue." I said. I looked around we must have been running for some time because I hadn't any idea where we were.

" We'd better make a move." I said after I had got my breath back.

" Yachoka." said Adjarn's sister as got to our feet.

" But which way." I said.

" Pe cjko am echas." she said.

" I suppose if we head to the top of the hill we might see where about we are." I said starting up the track.

The elephant Elie followed as if nothing had happened, inscrutable things Elephants.

I ask Adjarns sister if she want to get up and I pointed to the top of the Elephant. " Yabo." she said shaking her head. So we all walked up the hill.

When we got to the top I could see where we were. I could see the Colonels white painted bungalow across the valley, the sun was going down behind us and my little plan was now totally screwed up. We were far to far away to get there in time for tea and if we even tryed we could not get there and back again before it went dark. I sat down dejected on a rock.

" Marcha heck do yuncd cee woch kamba." said Adjarn's sister. She went over to the elephant and un-clipped a bag and her Sitar. From the bag she produced a bun. Now why hadn't I thought of those when we were in the allotments. She offered me a bun, I took it and had a bite, they were nice buns.

" Hmmm good." I said nodding my head.

" Nichis moria bay." she said pointing to herself. Which I took as meaning she had made them herself.

She held a bun out to the elephant, it stood on its hind legs and gave a huge bellow. She then threw it the bun. It was obviously the little elephants party trick.

She threw me another bun, then took her Sitar and went to sit under a solitary tree at the top of the hill. She started to play and the sounds of the strange music echoed off the hills.

As I sat there eating my bun listening to the lilting music of the Sitar, a thought slowly crossed my mind. Here I was dressed as an Indian on top of a mountain, the sun setting behing us in the distance, a beautiful girl playing music to me and an elephant munching grass at my feet. I do get my self into some funny situations.

Judy had been giving me an ear full all evening he had not paused long enough for me to get a single word in edgeways, she was to say the least upset with me for as she so delicately put it, badgering off and leaving everyone else to the work. It was costing me the price of evening meal in a very posh restaurant as I tryed to make amends. It seems that Joe had caught a big fish, the curie made by Judy was just like Mr Patarneys mother made back in India. Judy even said that as the old man was dozing on the veranda after his dinner, he said he had heard the strains of a citer. He had even thought he had seen an elephant on a distant hill silhouetted against the setting sun, it had raised up on its hind legs and trumpeted. However as no one else had seen it so they had all thought he had been dreaming. The old man thought it was like being back in India it was the best birthday present he had ever had.

I wondered if I should try to explain to Judy that the elephant was all my little planed surprise but well, hells teeth, Judy was not in any mood to take my word for it and the circus had gone on the summer tour. The fact was I do not think I believe it myself and I was there.