From the book -
The Cherry Pickers
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CHAPTER FIVE

The Longest Night

Joe looked at his watch. It was late. I gave a yawn and stretched my arms.

" What time is it." I said. Joe looked at his watch again.

" Half past two."

" Oh heavens is that all." I said.

Half past two in the morning cold and wet, the railway station was empty, even the ticket collector had gone home. Only the dim glow of the platform lights gave any indication that once, life had existed here.

Half past two in the morning cold and wet, the railway station was empty, even the ticket collector had gone home. Only the dim glow of the platform lights gave any indication that once, life had existed here.

I tried to think why the hell we agreed to this, pushing my hands back into my mac pockets for warmth. I told Joe it was his idea and he said it was not, after a short argument we remembered it was Spottys. As it was his idea where is Spotty I ask, Joe replied he could not come.

A long way off down the track a lonely train whistle sounded, Joe thought that it must be the train we were waiting for, it sounded a long way off. We should have brought a flask of soup and sandwiches.

I hopped up and down on one foot to try and keep warm. Funny you get hungry when you stay up all night when you do not normally eat in the middle of the night. It did not exactly help having that giant poster of Danish bacon frying away on the opposite platform.

I walked up the station platform a bit then came back as the lights were out up there, somehow it was more comforting standing under the light.

Even if it was Spottys idea we did not have to agree to it I muttered, even if we all did think it would be fun. This is not fun reflected Joe.

We did not know it was going to be in the early hours of the morning when we agreed. When Mr Peperday said three o clock who would have thought he ment three oclock in the morning.

We could now see the light on the front of the train as it came closer, it puffed slowly towards us.

" I Don't think it's coming." said Joe " Lets go home."

" You're getting cold feet." I said.

" Cold feet, cold hands, cold nose." said Joe.

" We agreed to do it and do it we will." I said with a conviction that was not really there.

" I'm going to do Spotty for not turning up." said Joe.

" Only after I've done him first." I said.

It was strange how the station that had seemed so dead and lonely a few moments ago suddenly came alive when the engine puffing steam and smoke slowly pulled into the platform. With a huge sigh and a final puff of steam it came to a halt.

The engine, a Stanier 2-6-2 tank class 3P number 188 (for the train buffs) was only pulling one closed wagon and the guards van. The guard got down from his van.

" You from the Zoo." he shouted.

" Yes we've come to collect it." I said.

" Only two of you." he said, as he started to unfasten the lock on the door of the wagon. " Well I suppose you fellows know what you're doing." he said.

The outer door of the waggon door folded downward to form a ramp, it hit the platform with a bang.

" It's only a baby pig." said Joe.

" A Woozzlsky pig." said the guard. " At least that's what it says on the forms I've got here."

" That's what we were told to collect." I said.

" It may be a Woozzlsky Pig to you zoo people." said the guard as he slid back the inner door of the wagon.

" Great suffering ............" said Joe.

We stood looking, open mouthed, as the light from the platform shone into the wagon and onto the animal laying inside.

" But as far as I'm concerned." the guard went on. " That is a hippopotamus."


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We all stood on the platform looking at the hippopotamus. We had thought it was a baby pig, grunt grunt squeak squeak type thing. I gave a little laugh, which sounded a little forced because it was.

The guard was surprised we did not know a Woozzlsky Pig was a hippo so we explained that we did not work at the zoo, we only agreed to collect the animal it because Mr Pepperday had to go to his sisters wedding at Buxton.

To our surprise the guard ask who she was marrying. Joe Pogerry I informed him of Pogerry Pies whos dad owns a shop in Opengate Road.

" Well bugger me." said the guard. " No wonder she kept turning me down. I must remember to kick his van next time I see it."

Joe was looking at the hippo and wondered how heavy it was, the guard looked at his papers and said it was fifteen hundredweight.

Me, Joe and the bicycle did not weigh half that we would never hold it if it tried to make a run for it. The guard ask us where our van was, we told him we did not have a van, we were going to walk it. The guard was rather surprised again that we were going to walk a big hippo.

We had to admit we thought it was just a little pig squeak squeak honk honk type pig. We stood on the platform pondering the situation for a little while, there was a shout from the engine.

Ohy.! hurry up there, the driver leaned out of the cab, he shouted that the mail train is due through in fifteen minutes and he had got to clear the line. The guard looked at his watch then at us and told us to get the hippo out of the waggon.

Me and Joe walked up the ramp into the wagon. I noticed a thick rope holding the hippo to the side of the wagon. So far so good but it was still laying down, slowly I untied the end of the rope held it. I gave Joe part of the rope to hold as well. Slowly and ever so gently we pulled on the rope, the hippopotamus lifted his head and looked at us. Then it yawned. We looked into the open mouth, it was a long way down there. The hippo put his head back down, pulling both me and Joe over throwing us into the straw.

The driver who had joined the guard on the platform was watching all this and told us to stop playing about. We got up and gave a mighty heave on the rope, the hippo never moved an inch. I shouted to the guard and driver on the platform that it was no good just standing there if thy wanted it out the waggon they would have to give us a hand. We all pulled on the rope but the hippo did not want to move.

The stoker who had come down from the engine to find out where the driver had gone ask what was going on. We told him we were trying to move the hippo.

"Oh that's easy." said the stoker and disappeared.

He came back a few moments later with his shovel and to our amazement he went to the back of the hippo and swung his shovel to give the hippo a thwack.

" No don't." screamed Joe.

Me, Joe the driver and the guard ran as fast as we could down the ramp out of the wagon just as the stokers shovel come down on the hippos backside.

We stood pressed against the side of the wagon waiting for the hippo to come stampeding out, it didn't. I looked round the open door into the wagon. The hippo with a sleepy expression on his face wandered slowly out and down the ramp.

" There you are, he's all yours." said the stoker.


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Me and Joe just looked amazed as the hippo stood on the platform, I grabbed the trailing end of the rope to stop the hippo wandering. The driver pushed his hat onto the back of his head and said they would have to be off and went back to his engine.

I tied the rope holding the hippo around one of the iron columns that held the station up just in case it decided to bolt when the engine started off. As engine puffed slowly out of the station the station sank back into its dark loneliness. The only difference was, now we had a hippopotamus.

Well we had better got off to the zoo Joe said untying the rope. Joe pulled the rope and I pushed at the hippo from the rear. Slowly very, very slowly we proceed toward the zoo.

You can tell how slowly we were going if I say that twenty five minutes later we had just reached the ticket office, which must have been all of thirty five feet away.

This was not going to be any good we were worn out and we had another mile to go, we decided there must be an easier way. I tied the hippo to another of the stations iron columns, this one was holding up the front canopy of the station entrance.

Then we both slumped down onto a wooden bench looking down station road while we tried to think of a better way of moving the hippo.

After we had sat there pondering Joe ask why did we tied the hippo up. After another long pause I replied it was so the hippo did not run away. I said this without thinking really because we had just spent half an hour trying to get him to do just that.

We must have been sitting there for some time when a little green van came down Station road turned right and disappeared out of sight down Albert street. A few moments later the van came backwards out of Albert street and reversed all the way up to where we were sitting. The side window of the van wound down and an astonished face looked out at us. It was Mr Patarney on his way to open up the bakery.

" What are you two doing here at this time in the morning." he said to us through the van window.

" Sitting." said Joe.

" And what is that." said Mr Patarney nodding at the hippo still tied to the station column.

" It's a baby hippopotamus." I said.

" You're mad you two." said Mr Patarney. " Utterly mad, I've always said it and this proves it." He crunched his van into gear and slowly drove off shaking his head.

" That's it." shouted Joe and leapt off the bench as if his trousers were on fire. " Mr Patarney." he shouted at the top of his voice. " Mr Patarney stop ! stop ! "

Joe ran after the van as fast as his legs could carry him. Mr Patarney jammed his brakes on. Joe by this time had reached such a speed that he ran straight past the van. I could not hear what Joe was saying to Mr Patarney, but after a few minutes Joe got into the van and they both drove off.

I was too cold and tired to be able to think to many nasty thoughts about Joe for abandoning me with the hippo, I did manage however to make a mental note to do Joe in, after that is, I had done Spotty in.

I was pondering about what to do with the hippo and wondering what passengers would think in the morning when they found a hippo blocking there way, when Joe and Mr Patarney returned in the van. Joe got out and opened the back of the van. He took out a large lumpy sack and closed the door. Mr Patarney then drove away.

Joe opened the sack and pulled out a large brown loaf, he threw it at the hippopotamus. I ask Joe where he had got that lot from he explained simply that they were yesterdays unsold loaves from Mr Patarneys bakery.

The hippo sniffed at the loaf and wooommf it was gone. Just like a sparrow picking up a crumb. Joe now had the hippos full attention. Joe held out a loaf and the hippo moved forward, the station gave a definite lurch when the hippo reached the full length of the rope.

I told joe that was a brilliant idea and cancelled my mental note to do him in. I rushed to the rope to let the hippo go before he pulled the station down. Struggling with the ever tightening knot, burning my finger and taking the skin off my knuckles, suddenly free the hippo made a dash for Joe.

" Hold him." shouted Joe throwing down another loaf.

I held onto the rope, it didn't slow him down much but I could just about manage a bit of steering. I just hoped we had got enough bread to last all the way to the zoo. Joe decided we had better break them up a bit.

It turned out to be quite an eventful trip that night to the zoo driving our little hippopotamus through the town. We learnt several very interesting little things. One of them being that you should not grow praise chrysanthemums in you front garden if there are hippos about. I did not know hippos liked chrysanthemums, or how fast they could eat a garden full.

As we were passing the waste ground near the swimming baths where there are some large hoardings advertising various things, the hippo for some reason took a dislike to the woman advertising cheese, it took two whole loaves and a current bun to stop him pushing the whole row of hoardings over.

By the time we arrived at the gates of the zoo we were getting very low on loves and extremely tired, the hippo was extremely full, the last thing we wanted now was any trouble. We rang the bell and rattled the gates. The night guard came out with his torch.

" What do you want." he said.

" We've brought you a hippo." I said.

" Bloody funny." said the guard and turned to go back inside. " Drunks." he muttered under his breath.


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" Hold on, we have." shouted Joe " Look here."

The guard came slowly back and shone his torch through the gates.The beam of his torch flickered round and came to rest on the shape of a very sleepy hippo.

" Good heavens." said the guard. " It's a hippo."

" We know that." I said. " We've brought it for you."

" I don't want a hippo." said the guard.

" O no." I said. " That's all we need, didn't Mr Pepperday say we were bringing it."

" He's not said anything to me." said the guard.

" Lets tie it to the gates and go home." said Joe. " I'm dead beat."

It seemed like a good idea so I started to tie the rope holding the hippo to the railings of the gate. The guard started getting agitated shouting we can't do that, he said would go and ring Tom he should know something about it. The Guard told us not to go away, as if we could. The guard hurried off into the darkness of the zoo.

Policeman must turn a bit strange at four o clock in the morning, he wandered up out of the gloom and stood by the hippo slowly rocking backwards and forwards on his heals. Dog tired we just lent dejectedly against the gates of the zoo.

" Taking your dog for a walk then, ho ho ho .. " said the policeman.

We were too tired and sleepy to be witty.

" It's a hippopotamus." said Joe.

The hippo, I think, was asleep although it was still standing up.

" Got a licence to drive it, ho ho ho ..." said the policeman.

We said nothing, it was hard enough just trying to stay awake.

" Where's the wheelbarrow you brought it in, ho ho ho ..." the policeman went on. " Looks almost real." he said giving it a thump on the back with his truncheon.

At this the hippo woke up suddenly and turned his head towards the policeman, almost knocking him over.

" Great sergeants stripes." he shouted. " It's alive."

Course it's alive I said to the policeman and ask him what did he think it was.

Apparently he had thought it was a model or something for advertising. Just for a joke I told him it was a good job it did not have his leg off.

The Policeamn ask us what we were doing with a real live hippo in the middle of the night on a public highway

" Bringing it to the zoo." I said.

" It escaped." said Joe.

" Escaped !. " said the policeman with a certain note alarm in his voice.

" Oh they often escape." I said.

" It's the phantom cage opener." said Joe.

" It was two tigers last week wasn't it." I said to Joe.

" Polar Bear last week, tigers were the week before." said Joe.

" What are you talking about." said the policeman looking ever more alarmed.

" They pay us to catch them and get them back to the zoo before they open in the morning." said Joe.

The policeman looked so astounded that we couldn't help laughing. He realised then we were having him on. He decided he was not going to hang around, the last thing he wanted to report to his sergeant was seeing a hippopotamus, he would never get his promotion.

With that the policeman wandered off back into the gloom from whence he had come.

The zoo guard returned a short while later with someone who we assumed was Tom. Tom still had his pyjamas on under his mac. Tom fortunately was pleased about arrival of the hippo and told us he had a pen all ready for it.

The guard unlocked the gates and Joe untied the hippo. Tom thanked us again for fetching him and said he would take him to his pen. We ask him if he wanted help remembering the trouble we had had handling him.

Tom declined our offer, Hippos are easy to handle he said, you just tickle them behind the ear and they will do what ever you want. So saying Tom tickled the hippo behind its ear and led it away as if it were a pussy cat.

" Well I'll be blow'd." said Joe.

We met Mr Pepperday a few days later and he thanked us for collecting the hippo. He gave us some tickets to the keepers dinner at christmas.

Mr Pepperday said it was very strange but the hippo had not wanted any food for three whole days.






END


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