" Where did you learn to play like that? " said the captain.

Tea and cakes were flowing liberally in the pavilion after the days play was over, much to the delight of Joe, who was as usual making a pig of himself.

The Captain of the opposing team was asking Joe where he had learnt to play cricket like that. Joe between large mouthfuls of cake told him it was in his flat.

Our side had won the match mainly due to the hundred and thirty two runs obtained by mostly by Joe. Joe was the hero of the day.

The Captain of the opposing team ask Joe again where he had learnt to play cricket like that, thinking that Joe had not heard him right the first time and that this time he might get a reply that made some sense

As Joe was not listening I told the captain that he did learn to play cricket in his flat. I thought this would help confirm to captain the answer Joe had given but it did not.

I balanced a plate of cakes on Joes head and told him to stand still while I had a sip of my tea, it was very crowded in the pavilion and we were all squashed together.

The captain of the opposing team who was still pressed up against us declared that you cannot learn cricket in a flat, he was still expecting a sensible answer from Joe. He said you have to learn cricket on a cricket field, in the nets of something.

Joe looked him straight in the face and told him that he had never played cricket before. The captain who had just started to eat a small flaky pastry thing with salad in it started choking.

" But you said." said the Captain.

" We were roped in last night." I told him." Sid and Andy our openers suddenly got a stomach bug, we just happened to be in the buss station when Harold found out. That's why none of the kit fits properly."

" But your batting, you hit our ace bowler all over the county." said the Captain.

" Ah batting yes." said Joe.

" You learnt batting? " said the Captain.

" In my flat." said Joe.

" Come on stop kidding I can keep it quiet you play for England or something." said the Captain thinking Joe was hiding something.

" I've only ever used a cricket bat in my flat." said Joe." For swatting flys."

" Swatting flys." said the Captain, he looked a little stunned then went a little pale.

" They're big flys." said Joe.