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We found a bicycle shop, we knew it was a bicycle shop because it had bicycles in the window. We went in to have a look round. The shop was quite empty, except for the bikes, so we looked and waited.
After quite a few minutes of looking and being polite by not touching anything, no one had appeared so we coughed, Joe then rang a bicycle bell, still no one appeared. I opened and closed the shop door hard and quietly shouted hello.
Joe pointed out that if they did not hear the door bang they certainly were not going to hear a small cough or a quiet hello. Joe then shouted very loud, "Hello, He-ll-oooo anyone there." Then we both shouted together. "Hello customers, real people,, it's your Aunty Ida come to visit."
They were either deaf daft or just not in. Either that Joe pointed out, or the last customer was an armed robber and there was a body laying in the back. That would be just our luck. Joe went to have a look in the back room but there were no bodies.
We could walk out with half the stock and no one would notice I observed. Joe thought we had better not as they were probably waiting just around the corner with two police men to see if any one does that. We decided we had better find somewhere else to buy the bicycles and made for the door.
" You've just lost two customers." shouted Joe into the empty shop as we left. " What was that for." I said. " You never know hidden microphones." said Joe.
We did not take any chances with the next bicycle shop we found. This bicycle shop already got customers in it with two assistance serving them. We saw all this as we pressed our noses up against the window. We walked in and the bell on the door gave a loud ring just like a bicycle bell.
" Be right with you sirs." called the assistant from behind the counter.
He was just putting some papers away in a file. A lady with a long black coat and tartan shopping trolley was deciding to buy the little blue bicycle. It was for her nephews birthday which was a week on Thursday, the poor little might had been very ill and with his father being away...!
Me and Joe did not know any this before entering the shop but the lady insisted on telling the whole story to the young assistant, in a voice that assumed that the young assistant was almost deaf.
The lady wanted to pay using the three months credit advertised in the paper, the pension from her Sidney who had been the army did not allow them to save a great deal, although she could not complain.
The young shop assistant was trying to fill in some forms for the hire purchase and needed some identification. This of course was in the ladies handbag, which of course was at the bottom of the shopping trolley. The shopping trolley was, needless to say, full and each item removed from the trolley to get at the handbag had its own little story.
Fortunately for us the other assistant came over to us." Can I help." she said. " Yes." I said. " We're looking for the kind of bi..."
That is as far as we got for at this point the telephone rang. As the other assistant was mid way through the explanation of why the old shelf brackets had fallen down, our assistant went to answer it. Me and Joe looked around at the bicycles.
We had gone through one rather nasty operation, one daughters second divorce and were starting on the problems of the new house, when we realised our assistant was still on the telephone. Not only was she on the telephone she had about nine boxes of receipts and accounts surrounding her.
Judging by the sound of what was being said they were trying to sort out the national dept of America. As we looked across she silently mouthed to us ' won't be very long '.
" If we wait here to get served we are going to be too old to ride a damn bicycle." was Joe comment so we shuffled sideways toward the door and left. I was beginning to go off bicycles.
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Short Story Series - Abridged from the book - The Tatty Nickers | |||
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